Chrismuff
by Gadien Elf
Summary: A smuffy Christmas story.  SV


**Chrismut**

Rated: HOT

Ship: S/V

Timeline: Late 2nd Season-ish

Summary: A Christmas smut fic. There ya go. Dedicated to my buddy MichelleR: AKA - Kansas City.

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Chapter 1/1: 

"Syd, there's no way…oh man – this is ridiculous!" Vaughn muttered from behind the door of the cramped dressing room, the costume shop's lights flashing from red to green in the window.

"C'mon, don't be such a baby!" she ordered from the closet beside him, shimmying into the impossibly short skirt and tight, corset-like top.

Grabbing the smaller Santa hat, the bell on the end jingling as she plopped it over her head, she walked out with her hands smoothing the wrinkled fabric against her torso.

"I'm not honestly coming out in this thing," Vaughn's grouchy voice causing her eyes to roll.

With arms crossed and foot tapping against the carpeted floor, she all but ordered him to open the door. "Vaughn, you promised…"

"Damn…stupid – damn…" he growled, throwing the door open and shoving his own hat on over his head. The large bell swung down and bounced off of his chin, making him wince and glower over at his girlfriend as the ever present forehead wrinkles popped out.

She took in an eyeful as he did the same, her gaze traveling from the corny hat and bare chest down to the black dress pants and red boots; she looked back up at him to see his inspection of her outfit still taking place.

"You look hot," Sydney couldn't help but comment, seeing him reach up and rip the hat from his head. What small amount of hair that hadn't already been beyond messily spiked now stood at several odd angles in the absence of the jolly head-warmer.

"You know what? If that damn skirt wasn't as short as it is, and your legs weren't as long as they are – I'd be a whole lot more angry at you for making me wear this dumb costume."

With an about-face, he marched back to change his clothes, stopping mid-way when the sound of jingling followed by laughter caught his attention. When he looked back up, his eyes bugged out and an instant dimpled grin spread across his face before he turned and looked over at his incredulous silent Sydney.

"Changed my mind. I'll take this, as long as I don't have to match Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum over there," he conceded, his hand pointing over at a sullen Will and Weiss, Francie attempting to hold in her laughter.

"Bite me, Mike. If I hadn't have lost that damn bet, I wouldn't be involved in this little shin-dig." Weiss growled as he attempted to adjust his bulky frame in the elf's costume. He and Will were matching, though the reporter-turned-analyst was sporting green while he favored the blue. The tights held nothing and yet everything to the imagination as they tapered down both sets of legs where an elastic band stretched over the heel of the pointed elf shoes.

As they sulked, Sydney and Francie couldn't hold in their laughter any longer.

"Why does Vaughn get to be the hot Santa?" Will groused, Sydney watching as Michael pulled off the jacket to show off the black suspenders as they ran up his toned abs and chest.

"Because I've got a hot Mrs. Clause," he reasoned, winking at his girlfriend before closing the door to change. "Syd, we're buying that by the way,"

"But there's another one I wanna try-"

"Nope. One word, baby," Vaughn paused, tossing the pants over the top of the door. "Legs."

She shook her head and changed back into her own clothes, the others doing the same before heading back to set up the restaurant.

"So, the guys says, 'That's not a reindeer, that's my wife,'" Weiss cracked, several of the young women glaring at the large agent before turning and walking away. "What?! That was a hilarious joke!" he shouted after them, the elf costume that much more ridiculous with the apron tied around his waist.

"C'mon, Eric, get these drinks over to table 13!" Francie called, Weiss rolling his eyes as he allowed her to load up the tray before making his rounds.

"This is insane! Did you know this many people were gonna show?" Syd asked, ignoring yet another catcall while behind the bar mixing drinks. Will dinged the bell as Vaughn grabbed the plate of fries, stopping to talk to Syd.

"I thought that with a college degree and a place in the CIA that I'd be free from working as a waiter. Since when do Secret Agents serve food?" his lopsided grin grew as he gave her another once over, eyes scanning her toned body.

"When their friends ask them to help," she answered, leaning up and placing a kiss to his chin as he grabbed the food and delivered it to a table of giggling young college girls.

"Dude, I wish you were my Santa," one little blonde said, running her finger around the edge of her martini glass. "I'd sit on your lap any day."

"Thanks ladies, but I think Mrs. Clause would have something to say about that," Michael winked, pointing over to Sydney as she poured yet another beer for an obviously infatuated young man.

"Maybe she can play too," the girl suggested, Vaughn just shaking his head and walking back to the bar.

"You and I just got offered a threesome if you're interested," he announced, both Francie and Syd stopping mid-shake on a beverage to stare at him with incredulous eyes.

"Ooh! Ooh! Syd…take it!" Weiss chanted from behind her, lifting up another tray of shots before scampering off to deliver them and avoid the death stares from both women.

The party raged on, Francie closing down everything at around 2:00AM. The group flopped into the abandoned chairs to talk things out. Sydney propped her feet up in Vaughn's lap as he took off the jacket and reclined in the dress pants and suspenders, Weiss punching him in the arm.

"You're the reason I never find a date at these damn things,"

"Whoa, what? Why?" he asked with a laugh, tossing his hat to the tabletop.

"Because all the ladies are busy lookin' at your muscles. I've got muscles, but does anyone ever get to see 'em?"

"No, because they're underneath the fat." Will cracked, Eric jumping up and tackling him to the floor.

The sight of two elves wrestling for dominance was too much, and Francie grabbed her camera, snapping a few shots before it ended with Weiss sitting on Will's chest.

"Ha!" he laughed, flexing his muscles as the blue-eyed reporter shoved him off, Francie setting the camera aside and ordering the clean up.

Sponges, mops, and washcloths were tossed around, Sydney and Francie bussing the tables and counters while Will mopped the floor. Vaughn stood in the kitchen cleaning the dishes and Weiss scrubbed the tables down.

"Well, all in all it was a great night. My feet are killing me, my back hurts, and my fingers are raw from all the damn lemon wedges I cut for tequila shots, but it's a good kind of pain." Sydney announced, setting a large bucket of dishes next to the overwhelmed Vaughn as he scrubbed away.

"Why is it a good kind of pain?" he asked, flashing her a bright smile as she walked up behind him, her arms wrapping around his slim waist before resting her head against his bare back.

"Well, for one, I got to see you walk around wearing nothing on top but that jacket and taunt all of the women in L.A.," her head bounced as he chuckled, his muscles moving underneath her weight as he grabbed another dish and set it into the hot water. "Secondly, I got to flaunt a bit because you're taken; and thirdly it wasn't anything mission related. Kinda makes the soreness a bit easier to deal with."

He nodded, understanding her rationale as he shut off the water and dried his hands on the towel before turning and pulling her against his chest, resting his cheek atop her head. The fuzz from the Santa hat tickling his nose, but he didn't mind.

"Well, the feelings are mutual. I got to watch every guy drool over you and want to punch me in the face each time I touched you,"

"Is that why you did it constantly?" Her voice was slightly muffled against his skin, but he heard her none-the-less.

"Absolutely."

They laughed, pulling apart and getting into a rhythm as dishwashers, Vaughn scrubbing them as Sydney dried and set them into the giant containers at the end of the counter.

She couldn't help but stare as his soapy hands molested the glasses, standing next to the tub of a sink in nothing but trousers and those ludicrous red boots. Though, most of her attention was on his chest; the suspenders long forgotten and hung limply at his sides, she trickled her gaze now and then to his sinewy arms.

"See somethin' you like Miss. Bristow?" he asked, seeing her roll her eyes and blush as he caught her staring.

"I gotta go help Francie," she muttered, grabbing a small tub and leaving the kitchen as Vaughn's laughter mocked her hasty retreat.

Eventually, the restaurant looked like it had before the party, and Francie decided to close up shop. They all trudged to their respective homes, Will announcing that he'd be staying over night, though it really wasn't anything like a new occurrence.

"Look…why don't we give you guys the apartment, and Syd can come with me?" Vaughn suggested, seeing the spark in the new couple's eyes as well as the curious glance Sydney sent his way.

"Sweet!" Will cheered, immediately calming down from his sudden outburst and miniature jump in the air, toning it down to a mental happy dance. "I mean…sure, if that's what…you know – you guys wanna do,"

Francie rolled her eyes, despite agreeing with Michael's idea. "As long as Syd's cool with it, I'm down. You need clothes?" she asked, turning to look at her surprised friend.

"Nah, she'll be fine without them." Vaughn answered, steering his speechless girlfriend toward his car, giving a laughing wave to Will and Francie as Weiss flipped both couples off and jumped into his Jeep.

The drive in Vaughn's car was silent, Sydney pulling her overcoat around her body as the seatbelt made it difficult to adequately cover up her bare legs.

"You're okay with this, right?" he asked, settling his hand over hers once they stopped at a light.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because you're pretty quiet." he mentioned, sliding the car into first gear and accelerating slowly.

She thought for a moment before answering, the contemplative sigh followed by a knockout grin. "I finally get to see the Vaughnster's bachelor pad."

He laughed, bringing her hand up to his lips and brushing a kiss against her knuckles. "That you do. Any porno's or nudie magazines you happen across, they're Weiss's."

Sydney wandered Vaughn's apartment, and after a brief scuffle in the entry way concerning her overcoat, she hugged the warm jacket around her shoulders as Vaughn recovered from a massive tittie-twister in the kitchen. She could feel his glares as he popped the lid off of a new bottle of champagne, Sydney turning to look over at him with a small smile and a framed photograph in her hands.

"Is this you and your dad?" she asked, Michael setting the flukes down on the coffee table and moving over to where she was standing.

"Yep. That's me sportin' my first hockey injury. Took a puck to the mouth and lost four of my front teeth. Fortunately for me, I was seven and they were all baby teeth. Most of them were loose anyway," he grinned, smiling down at the picture of his dad holding him up as miniature Vaughn smiled at whoever was taking the picture, the large gap showing the bloodied space behind his lips.

"That's disgusting," she laughed. "Did you cry at all?"

"Well…not at first. I had too much adrenalin that I didn't quite know what had hit me. It wasn't until my uncle and dad rushed over to take a picture that I felt anything. You know how it can pretty much numb you. But, after the picture, and after I picked my teeth up off of the ice, it started to throb."

She set the photo back down as Vaughn lifted her glass and set it into her hands. "Merry early Christmas." he smiled, seeing her take a sip of the bubbling beverage before turning to look at him.

"Yeah. Which reminds me, I've got a present for you." she smiled.

"No, it's not Christmas yet."

"You'll like it," she taunted, seeing the curiosity in his eyes.

"Well…maybe a little peek." He decided, seeing her walk toward his room. "Whoa, is this going where I think it's going?" he asked, his eyes bulging.

"No." she scoffed, seeing his shoulders slump in defeat. "Well…not yet anyway,"

"It's the one with the bed in it," he called, seeing her disappear into his bedroom though her laugh was still audible.

He pulled off his sweater and unsnapped the suspenders. He desperately wanted to get rid of these dumb pants and boots, glancing back at the room as he heard her rummage around, the minutes ticking my slowly.

"Almost done? You'd better not be changing in there. If I have to wear this damn costume, you do too."

Her answer was muted due to the distance, but he could still understand her witty come back. "Even if I come out naked?"

"Ummm…"

"Ha. Don't sound so sure _now _do you Mr. Vaughn?"

"Just hurry it up. If you come out in anything – more or less – that you weren't wearing before, these damn pants are coming off."

"Well in that case," she muttered, stepping into the hallway. The glass dropped from his hand, nailing the edge of the table and shattering around his booted feet.

His focus, however, was on the very scantily clad Miss. Bristow. The lingerie covered only a fraction of her soft curves, the red a stark contrast to her alabaster skin. His heart seemed to beat three times its usual rate, and he was pretty sure his dress pants were becoming too small.

"Merry Christmas," she whispered, leaning against the doorframe, the 'come hither' look in her eyes as she pointed at him, crooking her finger and breathing, "C'mere,"

He obeyed, his eyes taking in the red bikini bottoms, complete with a little mistletoe emblem right where it should be. He didn't waste any time, grabbing her and hoisting her up over his shoulder, giving her backside a little smack as she laughed before being unceremoniously dumped onto Vaughn's freshly turned down bed.

She turned the tables, leaning back up and helping him strip, her fingers and hands blazing a path up his toned torso as he kicked off his trousers. To her surprise, lying low in his hips were a pair of Santa Claus boxers, showing him and Mrs. Claus in every position imaginable.

"Did you wear these just for me?" she asked, pointing to the tented shorts with a dimpled giggle.

"Maybe. Do you like 'em? Any positions you wanna try?" he cracked, seeing her toss him a wry look, putting his hands up in defense. "You know…we never actually put that Kama Sutra book to good use,"

"That's because Weiss gave it to us."

"So? It's the thought that counts," Michael countered, flopping down next to her on the bed as she positioned herself above him.

"Look, no offense, but I'll be thinking of Weiss every time we open the damn thing. And…if you remember correctly – he gave us the present on your birthday in a meeting with Kendal and my father."

Vaughn shuddered, remembering how he thanked his friend, and after being ordered to open it before the meeting started - he had. The glare that Jack shot both young men rivaled no other as he quickly tried to hide the sex positions book from his girlfriend's father..

"Yeah. Too true…but maybe we should break it out one night," he paused, Sydney's mouth suctioning over his adam's apple, "you know, bring in a priest so he can perform the exorcism-" he gasped when she moved lower, licking his red nipple.

"Sorry about the 'twister, baby,"

"S'okay. If an arbitrary tittie-twister's gonna get you in lingerie, twist away." He grinned as she chuckled, her breath fanning the small tapering hairs as they ran down his stomach to his erect member, the head poking into her breast as she focused her attention on his chest and abs. He repositioned his hips, thrusting up until his cock slid against the valley of her chest; wedging his penis underneath the bit of fabric holding the two cups together. He grinned up at her triumphantly as she looked down, seeing the pinkish-purple head sticking up from between her breasts.

"Clever,"

"Thank you," he winked as she pulled away, his erection flopping out and slapping against his stomach. She straddled him, placing her crotch against his throbbing flesh as she reached behind her, undoing the clasp and setting her 'girls' – as Vaughn named them – free.

His hands immediately reached for them, taking one in each and pinching the nipples between his ring and middle fingers. Leaning up, using his abs to pull himself into a nearly sitting position, he latched his mouth over the left peak while the right he pressed, pinched, and fondled before quickly switching and giving it as much attention as its neighbor. His back tightened, making him pull back and settled his head into his pillow, his hands gently pulling her with him, pushing her over beside him.

She flopped onto her back as he pushed up, leaning his weight on his elbow and looking down at her. "C'mon…" he begged, turning on his puppy-dog eyes in an attempt to coerce her.

"C'mon what? I'm already nearly naked in your bed, what more do you want from me what you're not already gonna get?" she frowned, cocking an eyebrow as a small smirk crooked her lips.

Without answering, he rolled over and opened the top drawer of his nightstand, extracting the book and setting it out in front of them.

"You're kidding right?"

"There's no time like the present," he countered.

"Does this mean I don't satisfy you with our regular boring position?" she rolled to her side and faced him, propping her head up with her hand as he rolled his eyes, flipping the book open.

"Of course not. I just want to know how flexible you are," he wiggled his eyebrows, leaning in and pressing a hot, open-mouthed kiss to her lips, his tongue jumping inside for a taste before he pulled away, leaving her wanting more.

She grumbled, rolling to her stomach as Vaughn did the same, resembling two kids pouring over a magazine as opposed to naked – or half naked in her case – lovers embarking on a sexual journey.

He flipped through, skipping the Aerobatic Positions pages, though Sydney's eyes as sparked at a few of them. "Hell no, there's no way I can maintain an erection bent over like that. He'd break off," he growled, Sydney laughing as they continued to read, Sydney's finger landing on a page where the picture showed the woman on top.

"In a dominating mood tonight?"

"If you're makin' me do it, I'm gonna do it right." She stated evenly, pushing herself up off the bed and standing up, shimmying out of the mistletoe panties as Vaughn got on his hands and knees and leaned over, pushing a kiss against her swollen clit. She groaned, hand gripping the back of his head as he pulled back, looking up at her with a st-eating grin.

"Couldn't let the mistletoe drop without a kiss," he announced and flopped onto his back, lifting the book up and reading aloud. "The Vaughn lays on his back while the Sydney squats over him, placing her thighs on either side of her Vaughn's hips." He paused, looking up with a wiggle of his eyebrows as Sydney watched from the bed.

"I believe you're supposed to be doing this right now," he mumbled.

"Our little friend isn't too keen on playing right now," she commented, Vaughn lifting the book and peeking between his chest and the hardback to his slightly wilted cock lying against his stomach. "I'm gonna have to do something about that," she gave him a sultry look, crawling up from the end of the bed until he was below. He tossed the book to the side, dimly hearing it land with a thud on the floor.

"Not gonna finish reading?" she taunted, pressing her wet mound into his livening cock.

"You saw the page and have a photographic memory. I'm not worried." he grunted, reaching up and grabbing her, pulling her against his mouth for his plundering lips. His hands bunched up in her hair, tugging her closer. They parted for a moment to suck in a breath before diving back in, Sydney's hands clawing at his chest with the intensity of his mouth over hers - his lips and tongue demanding.

She finally pulled away, using her hands on his chest as leverage as she slid down, feeling his growing erection against her opening. Angling herself, using her lower lips to position the head of his cock she felt him slide into her, only allowing an inch or so to penetrate before pulling away.

He growled low in his throat as she teased him. On her next push down, she leaned her head in and pulled one of his taut nipples into her mouth, his hips giving a small thrust and pushing himself in slightly deeper than before. What he really wanted to do was just grab her hips and impale himself, but he held back. If she wanted to be dominant, he sure as hell wasn't going to stop her.

Vaughn kept his hands on her hips, squeezing each time she lowered herself, sweat beginning to bead on his brow and upper lip.

"For God sakes, Syd, c'mon. I'm about ready to come and you have even done anything." He growled, the lusty haze making his voice low and scratchier, which he knew drove her crazy.

She grinned down at him, pushing herself into a semi-upright position and very slowly slid over him until he was pushing insistently against her cervix.

"Better?" she asked in a half-moan, her heavy lidded gaze peering down at him from her high vantage point.

He merely grunted in response, his hips giving a little twitch upward as his hands moved from her hips toward her breasts, gripping each one gently as she used her runners legs to push toward the ceiling. Though he was now being fully sheathed and unsheathed, she was moving achingly slow. One each downward thrust he would try to meet her, but with her position over him she pulled away, not allowing him even a marginal gain for his thrusting erection – which was swollen to the point of being painful.

"Baby, please," he pleaded, seeing her smile, closing her eyes and leaning forward, her arms wrapping around his neck while she buried her face against his throat and tilted her hips up. Her sprawled placement over him gave him the freedom that he needed, and he shoved his hips against hers three times in rapid succession, the tip of his arousal breaking past her internal barrier as she moaned against his throat.

He pulled his body into a curl, their hips and waists touching while a small bridge gapped between their stomachs. Trailing his hands from her sides to her ass, he squeezed the flesh in his hands and began pistoning her hips up and down over his tightening cock. He slowed his movements, taking time to lift her until only the swollen glands were left in her body, her breathy encouragements in his ear spurring him on.

He slid home slowly, pressing past her cervix before pulling out, taking his time. It wasn't until her teeth bit into his earlobe that he slammed back up to the hilt, the base of his cock rubbing against her clit. Gripping her muscled rear, he pulled and pushed her accordingly, his balls boiling with the urge to come. Moving his hands, setting one against the small of her back and the other between their thrusting bodies, he pressed his thumb into the nub of her clit to grind it back and forth.

Sydney arched her back, pressing her hips lower over his causing him to slide deeper into her tightening channel, her cunt squeezing and clenching. She pulled his head up, slanting her mouth over his as she came, her mewls and moans leaking into his mouth with his, joining and intermingling as he exploded, showering her walls with his seed.

Their bodies rocked back and forth, humming with sexual electricity - their lips still molding together and only breaking apart for a quick gasp of air before joining again. Flopping his head back to his pillow, she leaned forward until her legs were stretched out from their crooked position, wrapping around his while pressing their foreheads together.

She placed a sweet kiss to the bump of his nose, feeling his chuckle by the breath of air whooshing across her throat. They stayed nestled together, Sydney sitting up and grabbing the blankets before lying directly over his body once more.

"You know with both you and the blankets on top of me, I'll spontaneously combust with the heat." He wrapped his arms around her back and shoulders, pulling her body tighter against him.

"Well you're not exactly making me lay on my own side of the bed,"

"You're just fine where you are." he ordered, sighing, and closing his eyes. "It was a good night,"

"Yeah. It was totally worth winning the bet to see Eric in tights and pointy elf shoes." She giggled, propping her head up on her hand, her elbow resting comfortably against his shoulder. She didn't have a clue as to how well they did indeed fit together in her fantasies before the fall of SD-6. Merely her minds exaggerated notions from the occasional hug exchanged in the dank warehouse.

"Well, Eric deserved it. He'll think twice before betting that we can go a week without sex." Vaughn stated triumphantly.

"We gonna eventually tell him about the visits to the Janitor's Closet twice a day during coffee breaks?" she asked, a mischievous glint in her brown eyes.

"Nah. If he couldn't figure it out before, he deserved for us to cheat. Though I have to say he did almost catch us Wednesday,"

"Yeah, but he didn't. Next time," she promised, yawning and craning her neck to look at the bedside clock. "3:02AM. Time enough for another round?"

"Absolutely," he answered, using his hips to roll her beneath him with a laugh, her arms wrapping around his shoulders as his mouth attacked her neck.

_'Merry Christmas indeed,'_

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End file.
